Parenting 101: How to master the art of staying calm
Being a parent is both incredibly rewarding and challenging. Balancing work, household responsibilities, and finances can be overwhelming at times. It's tempting to lose your temper and shout at your kids to release stress, but it's ineffective in teaching them the right lessons and can lead to regret. Here are some strategies to help you resist yelling, stay calm and create a more peaceful home environment.
1. Get to know the triggers
It's essential to identify the factors that can trigger your reactions so you can effectively manage them. Common triggers that may cause you to yell at your kids include:
- Fatigue (when you're tired, your patience wears thin)
- Stress (work pressures, financial stress, or personal issues can build up and result in outbursts)
- Unrealistic expectations (expecting too much from your kids can lead to frustration when they don't meet those standards)
2. Give yourself a break
When you feel your temper rising, try these steps:
- Take a few deep breaths: Deep breathing can help calm your nerves and give you a moment to think before reacting.
- Count to ten: This classic technique allows you to cool down.
- Walk away: If it's safe and appropriate, leaving the room for a few minutes can help you gain perspective.
3. Use positive language
The initial reaction for many of us is to focus on what the child did wrong. However, expressing your response positively will be much more constructive. Remain calm and use "I" statements to explain how their behaviour affects you. For example, express how upset you feel when toys are left out because you might trip over them. It's also important to give clear instructions. Instead of yelling, clearly state what you want them to do and maybe add a little incentive, such as asking them to put their toys away before dinner.
4. Be a calm mirror for the kids
We all have memories of times when our parents yelled at us, and whether we deserved it or not, those memories usually aren't pleasant. So, it's essential to model the tone you want your child to follow. As an adult, you are responsible for your child's well-being and growth, and how you speak to your child can be contagious. If you stay calm, your child will likely be calm as well. Even though it may be the opposite of what you want to do, using a soft, gentle voice may get your child's attention better than yelling.
5. Set boundaries and consequences
Children need to understand the rules and the consequences of breaking them. It's important to involve your kids in establishing household rules to give them a sense of ownership and understanding. Consistently apply consequences so your children know what to expect. This reduces confusion and helps them learn.
6. Look after yourself
Taking care of yourself is crucial in managing your stress levels. Ensure you get enough sleep, exercise regularly to reduce stress and make time for yourself. Dedicating a few minutes daily to a hobby or relaxation can make a big difference.
7. Ask for help
Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Sometimes, venting can help relieve stress, so try talking with your partner or a friend to discuss your feelings. You could also join a parenting group to share experiences with other parents who can provide support and new strategies. If you find it especially difficult to manage your anger, a professional therapist can offer tools and techniques to help.
8. Say sorry
If you do end up yelling, it's important to say sorry. A heartfelt apology teaches your child that everyone makes mistakes and you must take responsibility for them. Talk about what led to your outburst and discuss how you can work to prevent it from happening in the future.
Final thoughts:
Yelling at your kids may provide temporary relief, but it can harm your relationship with them and hinder their emotional development. You can create a more peaceful and constructive parenting environment by understanding your triggers, taking breaks, using positive language, remaining calm, setting clear boundaries, practising self-care, seeking support, and apologising when appropriate. Patience and consistency are essential, and every effort you make contributes to a healthier, happier family dynamic.
If you need some time to relax, we can lend a financial hand. Check out our cash loans of up to $5,000 to learn how quickly and easily it is to get some extra funds. Once a loan is approved, the cash is usually in your bank account within a few hours, allowing you to take a break from it all – with or without the kids in tow!